Saturday, February 19, 2005

At a Loss for Words

I found out on Friday that a friend, once someone who was part of that tiny group of people that you can count on the fingers of one hand in an entire lifetime, one of those rare treasures called a best friend, had died suddenly. A best friend and a sometime business partner, a person with whom I had shared hopes and dreams, aspirations and ambitions, triumphs and tears, secrets and confessions, someone with whom I had spent some serious time in the trenches, was tragically, irrevocably, and horribly gone. It was a bolt out of the blue, but not unexpected. And that statement would take a month of Sundays to explain.

And it was one of those situations complicated by there having been a falling out between us, with acrimonious words and bitter feelings and a failed venture, and lawyers, lots of f**king lawyers. The only thing that mitigates any of this is that an olive branch had recently been extended and we had talked. Exchanged kind words and pleasantries and mutual wishes of well-being. But of course, now, that's not nearly enough. Not by half. Jesus, sometimes life is so unjust and the universe is so inequitable it just makes you want stop the planet, call a time out, and step off for a while.

Instead I went for a run. Sometimes, that's all you can do.


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