Friday, August 04, 2006

Stormy Only a Week Away

With the Stormy 64K Ultramarathon Race only eight days away I did an "easy" hard 6k tempo run. After a fight with my running partner. Hence, I had to run alone. What a shock! Par for the course.

By gaining weight and backing off of my hard work-outs for two months I have lost a gear on the top end. I am just not as "fast" as I am use to being.

Actually I am just slow and fat. A slow, fat fuck. Great.

It will be a great slog getting down to 175 with me leaving for France and Medoc in less than a month. So much for a fast marathon this Fall.

This weekend I think I'll 'race' a 10K in Squamish - by that meaning staying within myself (probably 48 minutes - at least five minutes slowwer than where I should be given how I started out this Spring) - as my taper for Stormy.

I am still weak and prone to losing the occasional meal, which I have done for the past three days. And I am NOT a puker. I HATE to waste food.

I still have unexpected liver pain. Sharp. Painful. Hurts like Hell. The kind that doubles you over unexpectedly. Like an old man on his last legs. But given what has transpired in my life recently, not THAT unexpected.

As for my depression and ennui, Jesus! - don't feel the need to fucking say anything about it in the comments for Chrissakes! I don't WANT your fucking sympathy. That's not what I'm looking for. You're just making it harder for me to write honestly.

I write the Blog to be as honest as I know how. And that requires as a writer that you bare your soul and get naked. And cut a vein open and bleed on an empty screen. That's hard enough as it is without thinking about your audience.

And let's face it...

I am full of shit.

I'm not doing this for a warm fuzzzy feeling. I'm doing it as a fucking journal.

That out of the way, thanks for the comments and e-mails. I appreciate them.

Me, I mostly just kick myself in the ass and tell myself to stop being such a pussy. My apologies to pussies of all kinds.

There are lots of people in worse predicaments than me. I knoiw that.

I consider myself lucky and blessed.

I have a good life.

I am greedy.

I want more.



Quicker times.

You can figure out the rest.

Have a great day.

Kiss a pretty girl.

Buy a pretty girl some flowers.

Tell her she is pretty.


Anonymous kelly said...

I give you credit..having so many people read your blog and comment on your personal stuff. I couldn't take it. I'm glad i left my name off mine-i think my writing would change if people i knew where reading it.

5:12:00 PM  

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