Friday, April 07, 2006

The Beauty and Poetry of the English Language

Defining "cheat" and "cheaters" -

Listen, all you dumb motherf**kers out there who keep attempting to lecture me on the English language and its meanings.

I will hand you your testicles on a silver platter.

I will tear you a new rectal orifice. With pleasure. I believe in some forms of bloodsports.

I use words with purpose and meaning.

Unlike most of you dumb bastards who log on, I can actually spell and I know that grammar is not Mom's Mother.

Please, I beg of you, stop before you get hurt. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Oxford English Dictionary ( and yes, it is the only dictionary that counts. The words, say for interest - Honour and Colour - are actually spelled correctly this way).

cheat * verb

1. act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage

2. deprive of something by deceitful or unfair means

3. avoid (something undesireable) by luck or skill: she cheated death in a spectacular crash

Or, you mentally challenged simpletons: he cheated the qualifying requirements of the Boston Marathon (an incredibly lengthy and personally painful process for the vast majority of us and apparently, for some people, "something undesireable") by writing a large personal cheque to a charity

* noun

1. a person who cheats

2. an act of cheating

Are you following any of this, or do I need to explain this as well, Fecal Matter for Brains?

And I do not want to hear one single stupid village idiot respond to this Blog with some lame, pathetic, limp explanation that, "it's in the BAA Rule Book".

Fuck the Rule Book. In fact, double fuck the Rule Book. If you avoid having to meet the qualifying requirements of the Boston Marathon by the simple act of writing a cheque, that is a cheat and you are, by definition, a cheater.


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